#but it felt very satisfying
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The first sketch I made by slapping at the tablet screen vs the one I made after which is about 100 layers cuz I decided to put effort into composition (so everything is its own layer)
#process#tw blood#I feel often my composition sucks cuz I don’t consider the canvas as a whole#so for my own personal satisfaction I want to put effort into considering that and doing better#and I want to get better at showing people interacting#not just layering them over each other and going ok there’s interaction#but it looks flat and boring#what’s better to use for practise than two bros trying to shank each other#what I did with the second sketch is not quick and effortless#but it felt very satisfying#maybe I’ll make a painting out of it
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happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the “stop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jist” approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
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Help is just a click away
Danny was bored, it's not something new, the Infinite Realms were not the epitome of fun and the portals had been closed after the fight he had with his parents. It was safer that way, no one could get hurt, humans or ghosts.
That didn't mean the halfa couldn't miss them: his family, his friends, or the life he had before. All he had left were the ghosts, which was fine, but it wasn't enough. He felt unbalanced, unwell.
Clockwork told him it was because of his obsession, his obsession to help and protect was being fulfilled but only halfway. He had enough ectoplasm to last a lifetime but Danny was a human too, he needed to see the stars, to help people. He needed it desperately.
Clockwork noticed this and seeing that the boy could not return to his original dimension, he gave him permission to travel to the DC universe as long as he was careful. It was unlikely that they would attack the halfa there, they were all "special" and Danny would go unnoticed. But the boy still wanted to help.
So he formed a small business. He created a simple app and granted help to anyone who made a request. From saving a kitten from the trees to transporting very heavy packages.
It worked wonders and lowered his stress levels greatly. Danny thought he could get used to it, until people started making stranger requests and before he knew it, the so-called "Justice League" was at his door. Of course, he escaped, although that probably didn't help sell his innocence.
#dpxdc#immortal danny#he was bored#and missed his dimension too much#and felt incomplete#He missed his dimension too much#even if everything had ended terribly#Clockwork became his guardian#and tried to encourage him as best as possible#but it was obvious that Danny needed to satisfy his human side#so he allowed him to go to the DC dimension as long as he returned to the Realms frequently#Danny started his business almost for free and in a short time he felt better#until he was asked to save the world and stop a couple of military ships#He fulfilled the request without much problem#but apparently it caught the attention of the League#Danny escaped because he didn't want to be found out#Clockwork warned him that he would not let him enter another dimension if he drew attention and put himself in danger#dp x dc#dc x dp#The League is very worried#a supposedly harmless app became popular#simple requests were made most of the time#but someone desperate asked for something much more complicated#and the person in charge of the app managed to fulfill it#Jason wonders if he should ask for the Joker's death#Not all requests are accepted but maybe if he ask insistently
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bait / hook / line / sinker
#the hunger games#finnick odair#thg#the hunger games fanart#this was a very very weird painting for me.#like i have painted decapitated heads and severed arms and shattered ribs and guts falling out and gallons of blood#and not once have i ever looked up from my work and been disgusted or disturbed by what i’ve painted#but the first day i was working on this one i looked at it and just felt so sick i had to get up and take a shower to get away from it#HE WAS 14 WTF WTF WTF WTF#that is a baby. that is a little kid. turned into a killer and paraded around like a novelty and used like a toy.#but on the whole i am very satisfied with this propaganda piece it's just as beautiful and unsettling as i wanted it to be#ugh my mind. nothing in the composition is overt but all the implications are there#not just the capitol's sexualization and brutalization of children but the fetishization of the districts' labor as well#as my good friend and mutual theworldiswhispering said.#'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense'#and i think about that every day#wherefore art thou#thg reread#why he so smooth.. just like a shark#[katniss voice] mfs took all my body hair cant have shit in the capitol#i just know tumblr's gonna crunch the quality of these images but i worked on a canvas 4 times larger than the usual size#so a lot of the detail gets lost when i post it. oh well. click for quality i guess#his expression changes when you're far away#far away he looks kind of vacant#close up he's smiling. like the photographer wanted a specific cocky emotion from him and it was there#but when you zoom out there's just a thousand yard stare#i did think about turning these into prints or actual posters but um. i don't think i should do that
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love lies bleeding inspired me to draw more huge lesbians so heres misha and her pocket sized butch
#my little [sic] sweetie pies#[NOTE FOR SCALE: TSEREN IS 6’1]#very proud of the perspective on this one. you will be seeing me reblog it 30000 times#my art#oc art#oc au#normally i like putting my tsersha art in the butch4butch tag but i think this needs too much context#misha#tseren#giant au#as usual. dont be weird about this.#anyway this is the first time in forever ive felt satisfied with a drawing#g/t#for any strangers seeing this: this is a au and not the main timeline but like its a au i like a lot#edit: if youre curious about love lies bleeding bc of this 1. Go watch it right now i ❤️ the weird lesbian body horror movie#2. the big lady is not this big and this is just how i normally draw giants
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Particularly as of Shadowbringers and Endwalker one the WoL's key canon traits is how they attempt to understand their enemies - even if conflict is unavoidable or a villain's crimes unforgivable they still want to know who they're fighting and why. On the opposite end a core point of Zenos's character, and the source of many of his problems, is that he doesn't understand others and doesn't care to try, not until his final confrontation with the WoL and his last moments where he's asking them all these questions in an attempt to actually know them rather than just project himself on them like he's always done.
As his Voidsent Avatar, Zero's arc is an extension of this, in a way - see the way she still thinks and talks about Zenos, tries to understand him, while looking to the WoL and their friends to relearn how to human. This fully matures into her making efforts to understand Golbez, and succeeding in offering friendship to him. This is why Golbez's first steps to redemption feel more powerful and moving then if we'd simply defeated him, because it completes a closed circle of trust (doubly so if either Durante or the original Golbez is the Azem shard of the Thirteenth, as some popular theories suggest).
And all of this with the motif of hand-holding/handshakes/reaching out a hand: Zero learning the gesture from Jullus, extending a hand to help Golbez, shaking hands with the WoL as a sign of their friendship; compared to Zenos reaching out his hand towards the WoL at the end, or Durante and Golbez's original attempt to recruit Zero, both of which did not reach, but I think those connections are ultimately fulfilled by the end of this arc.
#ff14#ffxiv#endwalker#zero ffxiv#zenos yae galvus#golbez ffxiv#endwalker spoilers#6.5 spoilers#i didn't have too high expectations for this last patch considering this arc felt sort of disconnected from EW#but I'm glad that was disproven and had a very satisfying conclusion#meta posting on my art blog#btw everything is thematically zenoswol when it's 230 am on patch day morning
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Celebrating Fall 🍂🥧🍄🟫
Here’s something a little different as I wanted to practice non-characters illustrations and tried to give it a traditional and nostalgic look, almost like it could be part of a children book :)
#I don’t know if I succeeded at that haha but drawing little treats from my favorite season felt very satisfying 😊🧡#Also these will be turned into stickers soon 💌✨#my art#fall illustration#food illustration#autumn illustration#artists on tumblr#digital art
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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Hey unpopular opinion but JJ dying isn't bad writing, it's just sad. It's devastating and I bawled my eyes out, and it sucks that actors not being super professional is possibly what led to this, but it does make sense character wise. Like I can't say it doesn't. And I think they did a great job writing him off, I certainly prefer him dying over being written off Alex Karev style (character assassination of the century). I'm also interested to see how this affects the group.
I don't know, it just seems to me that everytime something unfair happens in a story, there's people saying it's bad writing, but...unfair things happen all the time? That's actually a very interesting thing to explore if done right, and I feel like it was in this case.
#JJ was my favorite don't get me wrong#this messed me up for real but#I always felt like he was bound to die#considering how reckless he is#AND how tragic his life is#so I can't even say I'm surprised#I'm gonna miss Jiara and I'm so sad he won't get to meet the baby#can't wait to see them get revenge on Groff it'll be very satisfying#that fucker needs to die painfully#jj maybank#outer banks#outer banks season 4#outer banks s4#obx s4#obx#jiara#obx jj#obx season 4#rudy pankow#madison bailey
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lotsss of rambling here but in the same vein as this post I think there are a lot of elements in s2 that are facing the same issue with audience perception, especially surrounding vi. arcane is not a melodrama that is meant to spend episodes and episodes dwelling on any one character’s feelings or trauma and trying to heal it all while the larger plot is hurtling towards war. It’s not realistic to expect this show to spend 3 episodes dealing with vi’s feelings during her pitfighter stint and learning that she has value outside of being a protector through a relationship with someone like loris. she pushes him away because she’s not in a place to accept that kind of relationship, and a stranger isn’t going to be able to heal or help her in this state. she was never going to learn anything while she was “passed out at the bottom of a mug” because that isn’t a productive or enlightening place to be. the show establishes where she is, shows us how far she’s spiraled, and then it takes her out of that situation and places her in one where she has the opportunity to discover something that will change that. I keep seeing people say that vi needs to realize that she’s worth more than what she can provide for others, and they’re right — but she was never going to learn that from a stranger, because what she needs is to heal the relationships with the loved ones she already has. the show addresses this when vi asks jinx why she came to get her even though she didn’t really need her help. vi’s perspective and position begin to change as soon as she joins jinx and isha because her relationship with them is the catalyst for the realizations her character needs to have. by contrast ,the imagined scenarios where vi gets taken care of by a stranger are not what she needs, in large part because she as a character would never allow that, which is the point of showing her pushing loris away. he’s trying to help her, but she’s not in a place to be helped by him. what does help her is hearing that jinx came after her despite believing that she didn’t truly need her help. what helps her is being in a position where she does ultimately get to help protect jinx and isha despite that, because it reminds her who she is (hello loss of identity arc) and because it makes her realize that she DOES love jinx and she IS still her sister in spite of everything that has happened. what helps her is being in a position where she has a chance at a do over, being in a position where she gets to choose to trust jinx enough to lower her fists and take a chance on the monster who turns out to be her father. being in a position where she gets her family back. THAT'S the healing vi needs.
something something about how vi is angry enough to punch a hallucination of caitlyn in ep 5, but by the time she actually sees her again in ep 6, all that anger is gone. why? what changed? the answer is everything. during her time as a pitfighter vi has nothing. of course she’s lingering on the loss of the last thing she had to hold on to. but between then and when she actually does see caitlyn again, she’s gone from having nothing to having everything. she has her family back. she has a sense of peace we haven’t seen her have maybe ever before. what happened with caitlyn went from being the center of her world to being nearly inconsequential. that doesn’t mean that caitlyn shouldn’t be held accountable or make amends. she should and I think she will. but it’s also understandable that vi is no longer holding on to those volatile feelings in that moment. because what matters is saving vander and her family and that’s what she’s focused on.
meanwhile jinx gets the focus and development she gets because she’s the character that needs it. she’s the character who is occupying a position that is not sustainable, who still needs to make peace with who she is and the role she wants to have. vi doesn’t get that same kind of development because she doesn’t need it. yes, she doesn’t change much and that’s because she’s the constant, the control in a cast of characters who are pushed to change beyond recognition. but what does change for vi is that by the end of arc 2, she's positioned once more as the hero. and she is a hero. arc 1 has vi in a very passive role for the first time. she's always been a character who makes decisions that push the narrative forward for better or worse, but in arc 1 she doesn't actually make a single decision that truly impacts the story until she stops cait from shooting at jinx and isha. she's vulnerable and scared and sad and she lets herself be led around by cait because she's lost. in arc 2 that isn't the case anymore. she's back to making decisions and she's back to doing what she thinks is right. she defends jinx and isha, she seeks help for vander, she wants to stay and help the commune with jinx, to help heal people from the devastation that's been caused. she bests ambessa because she's able to set her anger aside and collaborate with caitlyn. once again she picks herself up and she keeps trying. of all the characters in the show, vi has done the best job of holding onto her "good heart" despite everything she has endured, which is more than most. there's a reason both vander and caitlyn point this out when no other character is ever assessed in such a way. it doesn't mean that vi never makes mistakes. she does. but she never loses sight of the fact that she's trying to do the right thing while others are consumed by hate or vengeance or fear or confusion. vi is the strongest character in the show; even ambessa points out her resilience. no, i don't mean physically. the fact that vi continues to get up, continues to do what she thinks is right, and is able to let go and forgive after everything she's been through — that's real strength.
one thing I will say is that this show is wholly unpredictable, and I think that's part of the audience response. but the arc is there. the development is there. it may not be the arc the audience was expecting, but honestly? I think it's better.
#the promo material is also misleading and that's part of it too#but I think it's meant to be that way to keep us on our toes#watch without expectations. let go of what YOU want the story to be. just because it isn't what you wanted doesn't mean its bad.#vi#vi arcane#arcane#meta#text#I felt this way too at first but#on the rewatch every single concern or issue I had no longer holds up#becasue my expectations for where I thought the story was going are no longer getting in the way#as someone who heavily identifies with vi I think what they’ve done with her is very satisfying actually#mine
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i really don't see harrow ever choosing alecto over gideon. harrows love for alecto seems much more akin to worship- a religious fanatic obsessed with the beauty and ethereal energy of the thing inside the tomb she has worshiped all her life. she also only knows alecto as a corpse and a hallucination, she doesn't know her as a person. harrows love for gideon has been a life-long endeavor full of struggle and conflict and intimacy and shared pain. it is human. they work because they are both so incredibly flawed and they can connect through those flaws. their initial hatred for each other stems from the fact that they know too much about one another. harrow and gideon's relationship is sustainable because it has already survived through so much. i don't see harrow and alecto lasting. not to mention the fact that harrow lobotomized and tortured herself and went to the ends of the earth to get gideon back. even if she doesn't see it herself, she loves gideon more than anyone else in the universe including alecto
#wrote this cause i some some people talking abt what if harrow chooses alecto over gideon#which just doesnt seem like a reasonable or satisfying ending to me#tlt#the locked tomb#griddlehark#everything i said here seems very obvious to me i also scraped this cause i felt like it didnt need to be pointed out#but i still like talking abt it and writing out my observations
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Mars, you have a lot more patience than I would at this point gdhfkjgdsfg. If you'll allow me to choose violence for a second:
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Hi anon! Did you know you can engage with other people without interpreting every word they use in the worst way possible, making a million assumptions about their background and prescribing opinions to them they've explicitly told you they don't have?
I don't even disagree with all of those rebuttals, but if you want people to engage in discussions with you you have to treat them like human beings, not your opposition in a court case. What are you expecting to get back when you act like this? About nonexistent fingers in his ass guy?
You should at least have got off anon and owned what you said- unless you're using anon to block evade, in which case you should consider respecting people's boundaries.
:D waow…. feeling very cared for in this chili’s tonight
#ask#lyre#as for my patience: yeah i am a bit more patient than i’d like to be#but anons like that are enrichment to me lmao#i try not to feed the trolls but there’s smth very satisfying in showing someone that they have failed to get under your skin#it was how i dealt with troublemakers/bullying in school as a kid ^_^#in one of my art classes (8th grade i think? so like 12-13yo) there was a kid who just refused to follow any directions#and would also try to distract and annoy everyone else#it pissed me off. so i decided i would literally just pretend he didn’t exist#he would get my attention and i wouldn’t respond. he’d try to startle me#wouldn’t even flinch. i got to the point where i could look Through him#it pissed him off so bad. i think i lowkey crave returning to the level of power i felt in that moment#anyways i employ a similar strategy with these types of anons. i’m trying to have Less patience with people but i’m not an angry person?#i don’t experience anger at individuals very often#i DO however have a strong competitive spirit and a trickster’s sense of humor#(yes i was raised on looney tunes can you tell)#so i laugh whenever ppl try to get under my skin like that because. heheheheee they’re madddddd they’re soooo angry#and it must piss them off sooooo bad that their words don’t make me feel bad :(( poor thang#this is probably a character flaw of mine in excess. but right now it’s funny#and hey if someone is gonna refuse to treat me with respect i think i’ve earned a few potshots right
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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replaying dav act 1 and the way i instantly prefer the minrathous route is wild sorry antiva 💀💀💀
#enjoying act 1 way more in general. i am RELAXED i am CRINGE i am FREE i already know what HAPPENS#but yeah lol i mean for my canon i'll leave it as is but dsjfhghj the compare and contrast of how i felt#with the viper vaguely writhing on a table versus lucanis being like 'i have no heart for anything but my city' is WILDDDDD#AND THE BLIGHTED CANALS. THE SPECTACLE OF IT#there were some good moments in the treviso arc for sure and i really like the arc with hardened neve. but u know#it does hurt cause i know how it could be. but i live for the drama of it and i'm very glad that i'm not losing access to everyone#(although that phantom cough is in there so we'll see how that develops. at the very least vi and teia are still there bantering)#idk. if i'm being real the crows were probably my biggest disappointment overall in the game lol#(not for the same reasons as everyone else- differences in their portrayal from dao is easily explained for me by the people we're hearing#from being literally the equivalent of royalty. imo there is way less retconning going on then just frankly narrowing of scope.#something not being mentioned doesn't mean it doesn't exist. but there's a lot i wish were mentioned! or landed better! anyways.#i did still like them overall! and i imagine playing a crow adds a little more connection there with teia and vi)#i think i will be way more satisfied with seeing them in more active turmoil#and to spend more time with the shadow dragons.#more tarquin more dorian more mae. that's a w from me#i do worry abt hardened lucanis from vague comments i've seen 😭 but again i live for the drama#it speaks#veilguard spoilers#vir dirthera
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I FORGOT TO POST LAST NIGHT WE FINISHED AAI2
WE GOT THE ICONIQUE 'THAT MAN SHINES BRILLIANTLY' WAHTEVER LINE
i am a little sad phoenix didn't get to be anywhere near this amazing character growth moment for edgeworth but thats the basic nrmt bitch in me
was also very sad at the end when it's like WE'LL CONTINUE ON THIS PATH AND MEET AGAIN ONE DAY to all the characters we know we have not seen since this game :(( AA7 free our characters from the capcom basement :((
#i also really#want to know more about dogen and de killer's history.....#real potential for some more old man yaoi#liveblogging ace attorney#*aai2#like every ace attorney game it was a little convoluted at the end but still very very enjoyable and felt v satisfying by the end#next we have to start tgaa but first i have to hold chibistarlyte at gunpoint to finish their nokomitsu/gumworth fic hehehehehhehe
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There's something so insane to me about being able to create and recreate vintage or even ancient music, clothes, fabrics, building architecture, anything, really.
I watched this video about a lady who knit a WWII-era vest, and it was really unique, because the cable work would eat up yarn, when there were shortages of fibers. This pattern would have likely been used by people to send overseas to soldiers, and now it's being created in a time where this war has been over for generations. What were the people making this pattern thinking of? What about the people making the vest? Could they fathom a world where world wars didn't happen back to back? Could they imagine what peace felt like, or did it fade like a distant memory, a faint friend? All we have now are the remnants of their efforts, a "simple" vest that would warm the bodies of countless people the knitter would never have imagined were here on earth with them.
We're reaching across time to learn about other people - we're reaching our hands out just to grasp anything tangible. And when we've take hold of something, all we can do is say I love you I love you I love you
#positivity#art#i also come across this absolutely stunning woman who collects vintage pieces from the '50s and it's just. it's mind boggling#or how we've found ancient sheet music and have recreated its contents#do you ever think about how we're time travelers#do you ever think about what might be recreated of us in the future#this isn't about nostalgia baiting but about how we learn and process the ways that people in the past lived#you don't have to feel nostalgic for WWII to be intrigued by this (it would be very concerning if one WAS nostalgic for WWII)#i just. i die a little inside because i know i will never know everything...#...i will never know every lottle thing about people in the past especially...#...and i am never completely satisfied because only a very selective amount of things are preserved and remembered...#...i wonder then what 'forgotten' people thought and felt and how they lived...#...especially as individuals or as a small clan of family and friends. i want to know them intomately - as if i myself have become emeshed..#...does this make sense. i don't just want to know about nobles and kings and the wealthy...#...i want to know what the lacemaker for a king felt making lace for the royals...#...i want to know what the rice field worker thought about when the fields were flooded and they swatted a bug away from their skin...#...i want to know what a mother of a small child thought when churning butter - her baby cooing and making a mess...#...and it sucks sometimes to know that we're time travelers but in a very narrow sense. but i still love what we have got...#...don't get me wrong i love it. but i still grieve that we have lost a lot of history - a lot of people...#...or maybe we have only lost them in the sense that we just haven't located and found them *yet*#anyway i've watched that video multiple times now and i just go absolutely animalistic thinking about it#all of this is complex and i have Plenty of thoughts about that. but at least to me this is what i've seen a lot - a lot of love#and isn't studying this - recreating it and analyzing it - isn't that a form of love?#am i... a nosy person..........
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